Loaded for Bear
TF2k5 - Mindwipe - Saturday, March 02, 2013, 12:01 AM ----------------------------------------------------- Ural Mountains Compared to other mountain ranges on Earth, this range is rather small in stature...however, the freezing, biting gusts of wind make traversing this mountain range a hellish ordeal. To the north, and just visible over some of the shorter mountain peaks, you can see the great snowy wasteland that is Siberia. While some humans make their home in these mountains...overall it is not a safe place to be. So you had best be moving on! Last week, when a small village at the base of the Ural Mountains was attacked by a giant marauding bear, it didn't make the news. Not even the giant monster bear part. I mean, poor people right? Probably making up some crap about a mythical bear monster so they can get some government dollars or something. Jerks. But when a research camp is assailed by a similar sounding bear a week later, word gets around pretty. quick. Especially when a member of the exploration and research team is Brian Lowry, CEO of Microapplesoft, the world's leading producer of iZune phones. Red flags pop up over every known network: this is a distress call worth looking into. And since the Autobots recently misplaced their crazy monster bear, chances are... On approach, it looks like whatever attacked the research camp isn't presently attacking. The vehicles have been placed in a defensive circle, the scientists guarded by their security team. As most of the other Autobots have likely already speculated, Silverbolt suspects that this 'giant bear' is the oft-depressed Autobot Chainclaw, who had dropped off the grid during a fight recently. Not really many other Autobots who have that particular alt-mode, so the Aerialbot leader sets out to track down and hopefully calm the large mecha-bear. Silverbolt has never met Chainclaw in person, but he's read his file, and thus this probable display of some form of post-traumatic stress doesn't surprise him. The supersonic Concorde approaches the research facility, then begins circling its perimeter, scanning for any evidence of Chainclaw's presence. Compact minivan , driving slowly along the icy mountain roads, transmits up to the supersonic aircraft, "Hope I'm not slowing you down too badly. Maybe I should've ridden." It would probably surprise everyone that there have yet to be reports of 'giant monster wolf attacks' as well, if they knew Carnivac was out in the mountain area as well. Because people tend to forget that, despite his manic, seemingly insane demeanor, Carnivac -was- a hunter of the very predatory sort. When it came to tracking and hopefully killing, he could be shockingly sharp and clever. Or he was just too amused by the havoc. That probably counts as well. He's been trailing the other Pretender for the weeks he's been missing, using the craggy terrain and snowy weather to keep out of sight, while his fur insulated shell kept him warm. Carnivac was waiting, following but biding his time, letting the various random rampages wear his quarry down... There are no reports of 'overly expensive police car with snow chains'. But there's one here, anyway. Carnivac might need backup. Or he might just need someone to videotape this for DeceptiTube. Contrail is fine, either way. Mindwipe perches upon a nearby hilltop. Reports of giant bear attacks peak his scientific curiosity. Well, Vorath's scientific curiosity, Mindwipe is revisiting old sit-coms. Brian Lowry spots the familiar Aerialbot and flags him over. "Get him on a proper frequency. <> he says cheerfully and also because there are cameras present because he's super famous. "That thing isn't hitting us now but I'm sure it's still out there. We think maybe holed up in that cave." He points at a big cave that is clearly where the bear is. "Any clue what this thing is?" Skids looks around, using a hand to shield his optics from the glare of the snow. "Huh. Any idea? Probably, but no reason to jumpt to conclusions just yet." "Hmmm...." Cursory scans didn't come up with any e-sigs that looked like Chainclaw's. That cave over there looked promising, though his sensor arrays couldn't quite penetrate deep enough to see if the Autobot bear were in there or not. It was looking as if it would become necessary to explore the cave themselves. He sighs inwardly when Mr. Lowry speaks to him on the comm, really not wanting to admit to the human that an Autobot had been responsible for the attack, but--he couldn't just ignore the guy. <> he replies. <> The Aerialbot leader transforms and descends to the ground, touching down in front of the entrance. Giant Armored Timberwolf had the advantage of hightened sensory systems and being perfectly comfortable in this environment, picking his way through the mountain ridges, lurking near the cave. About the only reason he didn't go to finish the job now was because he didn't want to get cornered in the cave as well. Ears tilt up at the sound of supersonic engines in the air, and Carnivac hunches down, grey fur and dark armor concealing him amongst the terrain and snow... once he sits on the oddly bright colored tail to keep it out of sight. Maybe now the bear would come out to attack and he can finish the job Outbound and Co. started... Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf sets his defense level to Guarded. Lamborghini Gallardo parks herself and waits patiently. Ugh, it is cold. Thank goodness she's not trapped in a Michael Bay movie. Otherwise, the cold might actually be dangerous! And then humnans would shoot her in the eyes. Brian Lowry activates his shortrange jetpack and SCHKOOOOOS over to Silverbolt and Skids, much to the chagrin of his security team. "Silverbolt, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Brian Lowry, of Microapplesoft. Not Microapplesauce, totally different business model." He laughs at this amazing joke. "And you must be Skids. Pleasure. I have to admit, I'm a bit of a fanboy. Is Pipes coming? I like how he doesn't have hands. Anyway, whatever that thing is, it left us alone after we just let it eat a generator. It's probably hibernating by now." And then there is an angry roar, and Chainclaw tears out of the tunnel. Well, mostly Chainclaw. There's not a lot of intelligence in his eyes or movement. Just angry bear stuff. He rears up, and lunges right for Silverbolt! WHAT IN THE WORLD?! Combat: Giant Armored Bear misses Silverbolt with his Bear Swipe! (Punch) attack! Mindwipe leaps into the air, gliding smoothly down towards the cameras. Transforming, they touch down simultaneously. "Oh, we think we know what it is," The bat starts, then Vorath continues, "We think it's an Autobot." Carnivac, from his point of view, provides a wonderful image of Chainclaw barging out of a cave and trying to rip Silverbolt in two. He's probably trying very hard not to start laughing. Contrail says, "Ooooh, nice. Forward that to the propaganda department." Carnivac says, "Oooh, lovely idea~. I'll tag some images of his path of destruction too." Mindwipe says, "We'll just... continue making them look bad on camera." Descending from the heavens to the small mountain ranges known as Ural, the firebrick red and faded light blue Starfighter ignites thrusters to bring him closer into view as he runs a myriad of scans over the area. Defcon is a bounty hunter, this much is true.. but to be frank, he's the closest thing to a Bear Gryllis the Autobots have. Except Defcon doesn't drink his own urine.. yet. Tracking, hunting, survivial, he has all these skills and more. So it's a no-brainer that he was called in to help find Chainclaw. That and well, he was kinda bored. <> ...And then Mr. Lowry follows Silverbolt and Skids to the entrance of the cave. Silverbolt sighs and turns to the human, giving a forced smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm glad you think well of us, but please--it's not safe out here. It's best if you remained with the others." he says, gesturing back toward the defensive perimeter the humans had set up. And then Chainclaw suddenly bursts out of the cave and attacks! Fortunately, the Aerialbot had been prepared for the unexpected, so he manages to dodge Chainclaw's...well, claws. "Skids, make sure Lowry gets back to the facility, I'll stall Chainclaw as best I can." Mindwipe then suddenly reveals himself, and states his own speculation. If Silverbolt hadn't been too busy dodging the bear Pretender, he'd have told the humans not to listen to the 'Cons' deception! Skids can play that game, too. "Mindwipe, the Decepticon who futzes with people's heads. Wonder what he's been doing." Made sure the cameras caught that. Raising his electo-blaster arm, he tries to sound nonchalant with, "Now, you just hold on there," and stun the bear while they figure out what to do. Combat: Skids sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Skids strikes Giant Armored Bear with his Electron Blaster attack! Combat: Giant Armored Bear has been temporarily incapacitated. Oh this is just too good. Chainclaw attacked other Autobots! Carnivac has to keep from cackling out loud while he's recording and not blow his cover too soon. Let's just watch the Autobots have to beat up one of their own. Propaganda will have a field day with it! Or not, as Skids ruins the show by stunning the burly bear before he can go on another rampage. Well, if there's not going to be any more entertainment value, he may as well get this over with. The armored wolf lifts up just enough to point his cannon down from the outcropping he was lurking in, and takes full avantage of the Autobot's attempt at non-lethal take down by handling the lethal part! And rubbing it in with a maniacal cackling grin. "How nice of you to come and -help- dispose of your own trash, Autobums!" Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf strikes Giant Armored Bear with his Anti-Thermal Cannon attack! Mindwipe sighs and shakes his head. "Ah, Autobot, this is not a game you wish to play right now... But I thank you for the opportunity you've-" Aaand then Carnivac goes carnivorous on Chainclaw. "Ahh, nevermind." He produces a business card from his chest compartment. "Your friend needs help. My rates are very competitive." Carnivac says, "Welp, playtime's over. Time to finish the job~" Lamborghini Gallardo drives on up to the scene, watching the deliciousness that is Skids shooting Chainclaw. To further confuse the scene, she decides to attack Skids! "Assaulting a helpless bear who is merely practising his right to bear arms!? Eat hot lead, Autobot scum!" Ber machineguns pop out, and she tries to shoot Skids. Dakka. Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo strikes Skids with her FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns attack! -1 The bear hits the ground, stunned by Skids. And then it gets shot by a jerkass. "OH MAN TRANSFORMER FIGHT!" Brian Lowry looks thrilled to be alive. "Autobots, transform and roll out!" He does a little dance. Aww. Skids is just telling Mindwipe, "Now, I happen to know a little bit about psychology myself--" which he does, you can look it up--when Contrail decides to stand up for the right to arm Bears. Skids hits the ground quickly, rolling over on his side to give his missile launchers a clear shot. "This is Russia! Okay, so you've all had your brain-boxes swapped? You're Americon, he's Swindle, and the big guy, let me guess, Shockwave?" Banter done, missiles warmed up to fire away. Combat: Skids misses Lamborghini Gallardo with his Missile Launcher attack! "Chainclaw--" Silverbolt begins attempting to calm him down, but then Skids just stuns him. Well, that works fine, too, he supposes. But suddenly Chainclaw isn't even their main problem any more, the Deceptions are! "Slag it," he mutters, and turns his weapons on Carnivac. "Actually, we're more concerned with disposing of you this time." Combat: Silverbolt sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Silverbolt misses Giant Armored Timberwolf with his Electrostatic Discharger Rifle attack! -4 Giant Armored Bear pulls himself to all fours and growls, eyes on Carnivac... The bear spints forward with a roar, aiming to tear the wolf apart! Combat: Giant Armored Bear misses Giant Armored Timberwolf with his Serrated Thermal Claws attack! <> Defcon transmits, waiting for orders. Transforming and hitting the ground running, the hunter of bounties finds some cover behind a giant rock and lets some warning shots ring out. Shouting into his wrist communication device, Defcon siderolls to another cropping of cover and waits for reply. Mindwipe blinks, then tilts his head. "Me? Americon? Perhaps you need a little therapy yourself..." Combat: Starfighter misses Giant Armored Timberwolf with his Police.. FREEZE! (Full-Auto) Area attack! -1 Combat: Starfighter misses Mindwipe with his Police.. FREEZE! (Full-Auto) Area attack! -1 Combat: Starfighter (Defcon) used "Full-Auto": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack. Combat: Starfighter misses Lamborghini Gallardo with his Police.. FREEZE! (Full-Auto) Area attack! Pulled-1 Lamborghini Gallardo is, indeed, Americon disguised as Springer disguised as Contrail as some kind of Triple-Changer matryoshka doll. Skids has seen through the Decepticons' cunning plan! Wait, no, that would be stupid. Contrail drives behind a snow drift (but not Drift, who is unthemely here) to hide her heat signature from the missile, which conveniently also protects her from Defcon's cold, hard justice. She returns fire on Defcon and Skids, bullets whizzing through the frosty air. Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo sets her defense level to Guarded. Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo strikes Skids with her FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns Area attack! Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo strikes Starfighter with her FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns Area attack! As the bear snaps out of it and charges Carnivac just cackles, having kept his crouched position just to be ready to -leap- afterwards, vaulting out as the thermal claws tear into the rocks he'd been lurking by. He lands on a higher ridge just long enough to jump again as a lightning blast and machine-gun fire tears across it, landing just above the cave itself. "Hah! You should be thanking my for doing what you're all too pussy to do," Carnivac retorts, grinning the entire time. "He's defective and glitched in the head, but -you- are all too sappy to put him down before he could hurt people." And then he leaps off the perch, jumping towards Chainclaw in an attempt to land on Chainclaw's back and sink his jaws into some juicy bear steak. Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf sets his defense level to Neutral. F-15 Streak Eagle came to Earth to check on something. Its his day off its something of no signifigance to the empire, something for himself and now here he is; cruising the skies, listening to some random Rock CD. He chose Sibertia by chance. The cold, the updrafts through the mountain range, the human houses he can blast over, just fun any way you look at it. Well fun if youre a robot and one that turns into an F15. The jet flies low and fast just being a jet off a million kliks away until... BEEPBEEPBEEP Something sounds off on his radar. Transformers and a fair number of them. Decepticons and.. Autobots. Figures. Decepticons cant seem to do anything without being pestered by the Autoclods. The F15A Streak Eagle wingovers and briefly lives up to his record setting name of 'streak eagle' as the jet makes shockingly record time to the cooprdinates his radar just fed him. In momments Windshear comes up on the fight just in time to see a nice machinegun attack from Contrail. <"Windshear here."> he radios in, <"What do you need where?"> he brings his weapons online and starts zeroing in on the multiple targets reading Autobot. Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf strikes Giant Armored Bear with his Hungry Like The Wolf attack! Mindwipe throws himself into a roll to dodge the starfighters barrage. As he rises, he seperates, Vorath headed to check his fellow Decepticons, the Bat... looking for a new victim. Mindwipe folds up into a giant bat, while his head unfolds into the scientist, Vorath. Giant Armored Bear is taken down by Carnivac, roaring as the wolf's teeth sink in. Sparks, oil, coolant, and whatever the hell it is that biomechanicals bleed is fountaining out of the bites and tears like a budgetless Sam Raimi movie. Chainclaw lashes out on instinct, opening fire with the energy blasters on his back, a system he's not even aware he has access to in his current state. So of course it's no close to hitting Carnivac. It's really close to Defcon, though. Combat: Giant Armored Bear misses Starfighter with his Solid Sonic Energy Blaster attack! Combat: Giant Bat strikes Giant Armored Bear with his Sub-Optic Radiation attack! Combat: Drained 11 energon. Skids gets back on his feet with a sigh. "Sorry, Defcon; this shouldn't interfere with your infrared." The arm he hasn't used, with the liquid-nitrogen blaster, he raises to fire away. Chainclaw, at least, seems to be attacking the right side anyway. Contrail? She's more of an immediate problem. Combat: Skids strikes Lamborghini Gallardo with his Liquid Nitrogen Rifle attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Lamborghini Gallardo 's Agility. (Crippled) Windshear says, "Backfire, Im on earth you want some *snicker* Ice-cream and pickles?"" Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I can't ingest hooman sustenance, Windshear." Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Though that does sound good." Windshear tries to keep his voice straight and not laugh, "Just thought I'd ask." Mindwipe says, "... I hope no one's intercepting all this." "Just because someone has flaws, doesn't mean they should be eliminated. If we all lived by that rule--well, we wouldn't be living at all." Silverbolt counters, following the agile Pretender with his weapon and attempting to shoot him again Combat: Silverbolt strikes Giant Armored Timberwolf with his Electrostatic Discharger Rifle attack! -3 DARE you to eat it. Ate it.. and liked it. :)" Leaning out to get a sight of the scuffle, Contrail's return fire singes him in the head-laser and topples him backward a step. It does however, keep him safe from Chainclaw's PTSD raging sonic blasts. Calculating the odds here, the players, and lack of leadership.. Defcon rushes in to squeeze off a couple potshots at the Gallardo. "Silverbolt, you got a game plan here.. or?" he asks the Aerialbot commander. Faster than Slizardo getting jettisoned from an airlock, Defcon transforms into his robot mode! Combat: Defcon strikes Lamborghini Gallardo with his For Streetwise's Honor! attack! Giant Armored Timberwolf hangs onto the bucking bear as it blasts away.. and may of put one of his paws on that cannon to try and make it hit one of the other Bots instead. Unfortunately it's not so effective in actually hitting anyone. Ah well. He's about to take another chomp when Silverbolt's blast strikes him in the side, knocking him off the thrashing Chainclaw. Who is promptly put into a stupor by Mindwipe instead. At least that allows him to turn his attention to the Aerialbot instead, jagged teeth showing through the predator's psychotic grin. "Oh, do you want to play too?" As he turns towards Silverbolt his back-mounted cannon comes to bearing, and fires a bolt of thermal shunting energy at the Aerialbot to try and screw up his internal temperature and make him more vulnerable to the bitter Russian cold. "Lemme show you to a frozen grave!" Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf strikes Silverbolt with his Aerialbot On Ice attack! -2 Combat: That attack has slowed Silverbolt, making him less efficient. Lamborghini Gallardo is slowed down by liquid nitrogen and sizzed by a head laser, and she realizes that she needs to increase her evasive driving efforts, even though she feels like she can barely turn her wheels. She calls out, "Decepticons! Keep in mind, that no matter what happens, we /can/ blow down the Autobots' houses if we try or trap them in houses made of candy and bake them in comedically large ovens!" Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo sets her defense level to Protected. Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo inspires Giant Armored Timberwolf , Giant Bat , and F-15 Streak Eagle with wise and dramatic words! Combat: You feel more courageous! Giant Bat grimaces as he locks his gaze onto Chainclaw's, imposing his will upon the pretender. It's not going to work for long, the 'Bot's primal fury is resisting rational thought. Vorath, however, has been rummaging, and hurls a brick at Chainclaw's head... Combat: Targetting Error: Giant Armored Bear is not COMBAT-OK F-15 Streak Eagle hears Contrail speaking something that makes no sense. No target was listed so he just keeps flying by Which fragments upon contact. Wait, was that Gingerbread? Really? Skids has a moment's respite to go check up on the squishy humans. "Okay, nobody stepped on you? Good. Now go back indoors; we'll find out what happened to Chainclaw and get him some help." Combat: Skids sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Skids takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Skids is gesturing Lowry away, crouched to present a lower profile. Brian Lowry makes an angry rich kid face at Skids. "Pipes would never say something like that to such a big Autobot fan!" But he shoos, nonetheless. Everyone is scattering and hiding, actually. Chainclaw, in the meantime, has vanished. Combat: Giant Armored Bear takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Skids mutters, "I knew Pipes. I worked with Pipes. Pipes was a good friend--oh, good, he's shown some sense and left." "The 'game plan' is the same, Defcon. Since we've already found Chainclaw, we get him back to base and back in his right mind as soon as we can, and do our best to prevent collateral damage to the humans and their property." Silverbolt promptly responds, attempting to dodge Carnivac's anti-thermals but ends up getting grazed in the side. It doesn't do a lot of damage, but he'd been right about the cold. Some of Silverbolt's inner gears start to seize up, slowing his movements a bit, but it doesn't keep him from transforming! So he does just that, leaping into the air to gain the advantage that the Decepticons are usually the ones to have. Silverbolt folds up, transforming into a sleek Concorde SST. Combat: Concorde SST strikes Giant Armored Timberwolf with his Electrostatic Battery attack! -4 Still approaching the cave, Defcon takes another couple of pot-shots at the Gallardo. "Decepticon, you are in violation of several counts against the Intergalactic Peace act.. one of which is impersonating a local law enforcement officer!" Another couple of blasts, then Silverbolt's reply draws only a snicker. Guess it's better than nothing. "You will cease illegal activities at once and surrender!!" he hollers. Combat: Defcon strikes Lamborghini Gallardo with his Reading You Your Rights.. AND LAZORZ!! attack! -1 Giant Armored Timberwolf takes a moment to look around, but it would seem Chainclaw as meandered out of view. Alas. He'll just have to track him down again later. Surely he he's been damaged enough to slow him down, making it easier to find him and finish the hunt once the Autobots have been driven off an-- KRAKATHOOM -- A lightning like bolt of electricity strikes from above, sending the wolf reeling on his side. Smoke and the smell of burned fur roll off his form, but doesn't stop him from getting back up again. "I can still see you up there~" he practically singsongs, even as two bolts of shearing energy erupt from his eyes at the jet. Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Giant Armored Timberwolf strikes Concorde SST with his 20/20 Fission attack! "Fool... I AM THE LAW!" Contrail roars, and she transforms into robot mode, reaching for her whip, and she... doesn't have it. Because she lent it to Buzzkill and never got it back. Frak! Defcon's lasers really hurt, too. Contrail looks left. She looks right. She shrugs. She transforms again and flies away. Yeah, Contrail has had enough of this. In a transformation that is harder than it looks, Contrail rises up into robot mode. Flipping into a modified F-35B Lightning II, the sky is not the limit. Combat: F-35B Lightning II begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. Combat: Your COMBAT flag has been cleared. Combat: You feel less inspired. Giant Bat 's bat form sweeps its wings and rises up into the air theatrically before making it's way into the forests. Meanwhile, Vorath sheds his armour and tries to mingle with the crowd. Optics following Contrail up and away, Defcon chuckles "No, you're running.." he smiles. You see, there's nothing this guy loves more than a good chase, the thrill of the hunt, capturing them and feeding them.. wait, not that last part. Transforming and rising into the air, the Starfighter rockets off after the Decepticon F-35B. <<>I'm bugging out, I can't let her escape justice's sweet supple grasp again!>> he transmits to the other Autobots. Defcon the hunter of bounties folds down into a Starfighter!! Combat: Starfighter sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Starfighter begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. Giant Armored Bear staggers back into the clearing of the research camp, and falls over on his side. Brian Lowry leans against the breathing warbear like Dr. Grant and that triceratops from Jurassic Park. "Guys look at this Transformer! IT HAS FUR! This is so awesome!" Skids looks up "Silverbolt, you all right? Can you see what Chainclaw's doing in the woods?" Does a bear go in the woods?.... Do you -really- want to find out? Skids surverys the battlefield. Contrail, Mindwipe are fleeing. Windshear, he might not even have noticed fly over. That leaves just one other who needs some encouragement. "Looks like Carnivac fired from, oh, about there?" He'll unleash a dispersed ball of low-powered electricity in that area. Combat: Skids sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Skids strikes Giant Armored Timberwolf with his Dispersed electric ball (Disruptor) attack! Carnivac's cannon's once again make purchase, but Silverbolt didn't come here for a fight with a Decepticon Pretender. He'd come here to find Chainclaw and bring him back safely, and get help for his...psychological problems. So he starts flying away to look for the bear, but finds him quickly as he staggers back into the clearning and flops over onto his side. Phew...it would appear he'd been neutralized. "Let's get him back to base, these Decepticons aren't worth our time, anyway. Skids, cover me." Combat: Concorde SST begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Starfighter , F-35B Lightning II , Giant Bat , and Giant Armored Timberwolf Contrail lured Defcon away. Perfect! And there goes Silverbolt, and... oh hey, there's Chainclaw down in the camp again. With a barking cackle he turns and starts to bound off, only to get blindsided by an energy bolt. It doesn't do a tremendous lot of damage but it does get his attention. Carnivac looks to the camp. Looks to Skids. Looks to the camp. "Contrail had the right idea..." Either way he turns and lopes towards Skids and lunges... only to shed his shell and transform mid-air, so intstead of claws and teeth its a flying fist aimed at the Bot's face. "I -love- gingerbread!" ... What? He took that seriously? Carnivac flips up from his grinning mecha-wolf mode into his manic robot mode. Combat: Carnivac strikes Skids with his FIST! (Punch) attack! Maybe Skids was expecting that and just meant to flush him out. Maybe he just reacted. But, as the wolf pretender jumped out of cover, Skids fired another missile at him in mid-leap. Combat: Skids strikes Giant Armored Bear with his Missile Launcher attack! Combat: Giant Armored Bear falls to the ground, unconscious. Maybe it was the pretender shell acting as an unwitting decoy. Maybe Skids just got his circuits crossed. But the missile goes wild and homes in on the wrong pretender. Skids goes back on the radio: <> "..." Carnivac blinks a couple of times as Skids misfires and hits Chainclaw instead. Blinks again. And then falls over on his back, almost literally howling with laughter considering his alt mode. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! That's the most hilarious thing I've ever seen!?" "WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Though at the moment he's sounding more like a hyena, rolling over to pound the ground with a fist as he's laughing so hard. ... Now might be a good time to go make sure the bear doesn't, like, collapse on a human and crush them or something. Skids takes a moment just standing there, processing what just went on. Is Carnivac attacking? Doesn't look like it. Then is there any reason to stick around and fight him? No, not really. Better to go check on Chainclaw. Skids transforms into his Compact minivan mode. Combat: Compact minivan begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Starfighter , F-35B Lightning II , and Giant Bat Giant Armored Bear struggles to his feet, stands up on his backlegs to maul Carnivac with his last functional moments...and gets shot by Skids. The bear hits the ground. Carnivac will probably be there a while, he's laughing too hard to move. Autobot Message: 3/123 Posted Author AAR: Ural Mountains Sat Mar 02 Silverbolt ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Text report from Silverbolt. Last megacycle, Skids, Defcon, and I went searching for Chainclaw near a human research facility in the Ural Mountains. We found him in a cave near the facility, and he attempted to attack us but Decepticons Carnivac, Mindwipe, and Contrail provided a timely distraction. We battled them briefly, but they eventually lost interest and retreated. Chainclaw appeared focused on attacking the Decepticons for the duration of the battle, but I strongly suggest First Aid or another experienced medic have a look at his brain module. Stay strong, Autobots. End transmission.